Sunday, July 21, 2019

Time Trap Halloween





Hidey-ho, horror fans and welcome to another WTFHM! Today, we’re doing...wait for it...wait for it…

HALLOWEEN!!



The 2018 version. Now, if you’re any kind of horror aficionado as I am, then you know all about John Carpenter’s Halloween movies. They are an integral part of any horror nut’s proper education. In fact, you cannot graduate as a proper horror fan if you have not seen this series. I mean, it’s a part of Horror 101, for crying out loud. Right under “Slasher movies”. Make it a point to binge the series. (all of which are available at the Ferndale Public Library for all of you in Michigan, btw)

If you’re reading this and you haven’t seen the originals, this is usually the part of the blog where I tease you mercilessly for bringing your inexperience and lack of faith to my table.




Fortunately, for you newbies out there, you don’t have to have seen any of the originals in order to see the new one. And, in fact, it’s actually better if you haven’t as this version has the audacity to throw out everything that happened from the second movie on. Yes, folks. This Halloween takes place 40 years after the first movie.



Does that make it a reboot? I don’t know! I like to think that it’s more like an alternate dimension version of the story, personally.



Anyway, let’s get to it. And, as per usual with the slasher flicks, let’s play a little game of Blood, Boobs, Body Count, and Bad Acting!




Halloween starring Jaime Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak, James Jude Courtney, Nick Castle, Haluk Bilginer, Will Patton, Rhian Rees, Jefferson Hall, Toby Huss, Virginia Gardner, Dylan Arnold, Miles Robbins, Drew Scheid, and Jibrail Nantambu.




Blood: B+

Not a lot of gore in this one, but then, there wasn’t a lot of gore in the original. The filmmakers did a pretty decent job staying true to the original in that there was a lot of use of music and light and shadow to create a sufficiently scary atmosphere.




As a point of note, however, there is a pretty cool scene where Dr. Sartain gets his head stomped like an overripe pumpkin.



Boobs: C+

Even less boobage in this one. The only boobs we get to see are from a flashback of the original movie. Personally, I was gonna give it a lower grade as I don’t think that counts at all...but they did actually use footage from the first movie, so the filmmakers earned some extra credit points.



Body Count: A+
As with any good slasher movie, a high body count is a pretty good indicator of how entertaining the movie is going to be (especially when the killer gets creative with it). While there are no extra credit points for creativity here (Most of the victims were head bashed or stabbed), Halloween 2018 clears the board with a whopping 18 kills. That’s 11 over the original and 8 over the other alternate universe sequel.



Bad Acting: F----

I mean, look at the cast, for Pete’s sake. These are not rookie actors. Everyone in this movie (with only a couple of exceptions) were all well seasoned before coming onto this project. And, you know what? While we’re on the subject, can we talk for a second about Jaime Lee’s Laurie Strode going all Sarah Connor in this movie?



I mean, really, she plays a severely traumatized Laurie Strode who - at some point -- decided that WHEN (not if) this SOB has the nerve to bring his behind back to her house, she’s got something for him when he walks through the door. Curtis plays her like a woman that you might think is nuts, but in reality - is very much on mission. She’s in the killing Michael Myers business and business is booming.



Also, fun fact - Curtis and Carpenter put their heads together to produce this one and in what would turn out to be a plethora of genius decisions in making this movie, they decided that the actress that should play Strode’s granddaughter Allyson (Matichak) has to be an unknown, just like Curtis was back in the day.




And she, like the rest of the cast, killed it.

So what do I give this alternate timeline remakeboot or whatever? You already know.


Shoot, I liked it so much, I debated giving it two jewels.

So, next week we’re in the Hs with Hallowed Ground, which kind of sounds like a really old movie I might’ve seen as a kid. We’ll see though. See you next time!

O~
  *

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