Sunday, March 22, 2020

Crazy Camp

Hidey-Ho, Horror Nuts! And welcome to another WTFHM!

First off, A public service announcement. 

I hope you all are holding out all right out there. I know we’re all probably a little stir crazy, but hang in there. If you’re looking for entertainment resources, your local library might be closed, but most of them have online resources that you can tap into. Services like Hoopla, Overdrive, Libby – just to name a few have free ebooks and movies just for you.

Yes. Even horror movies. So, take it from your friendly neighborhood horror junkie and librarian, stay calm, wash your hands, and watch horror movies. <3

Annnyway, this week’s movie!

Camp Wedding starring Kelley Gates, Sean Hankinson, Cadden Jones, Wendy Jung, Jan Kutrzeba, Morgan McGuire, Cliff Miller, David Pegram, Melissa Roth, and Adam Santos-Coy.

So, let me set this up for you. Mia (Gates) has decided to have a destination wedding at an old, abandoned camp because people do that apparently.

She goes up to Camp Creepy with her wedding party (a cluster of self-absorbed cell phone addicts) and as they try to get the destination ready, someone has hacked into their phones and is picking them off one by one…sort of.

This freaky little movie falls under the category of a slasher film and you know what that means. It’s time for the Four Bs:

Blood, Boobs, Body Count, and Bad Acting.

First up:

Blood: F Minus

There is no blood in this movie. None. Not even a papercut.

Just tomato sauce. That's it. Sorry.

Boobs: F Minus

Nope. No, tiddies either. No side or under boob. Nope.  Not a boob in sight

Body Count: Um….well….

So, everyone gets weird phone calls from unknown numbers right before they’re taken out. The victim has a polaroid taken of them in their final moments and posted to the internet. Sounds creepy, right?

Except, they turn out not to be dead at all. There’s a ghost (of a dead girl or pilgrim witches or angry murdered Indians – hard to tell) going around trapping people in their cell phones so they effectively become cell phone zombies.

Hey, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t write it.

Bad Acting: F Minus
Everyone in the cast was pretty good in the acting department, which I’m thankful for. This movie was completely ridiculous and the actors do a great job of holding that up to the light. This movie would have crumbled if the cast wasn’t so entertaining.

So, you’d think with such abysmal scores, I would give this movie a raspberry.

Yeah, this wasn’t a bad movie – I mean, it was a “bad” movie, but it was actually pretty great so long as you don’t take it seriously…at all. This is a goofy movie with a goofy premise and I appreciate that.

However, I’m not giving it a fully red jewel. This movie actually would have been better with blood. Buckets of it.

Shut up. There’s a time and a place for gore is all I’m saying and the time and place was about 35 minutes into this movie.


All right, you might be thinking that with the library being closed, I don’t have any movies to review for next week. Well, you’d be wrong. Luckily, I stocked up right before everything went down and I’ve got one more left.

Countdown. This one’s a newer one and, with the bad movie train running along, I kind of hope this is pretty bad. Sometimes terrible movies make you feel better about life when things are dark.

See you next week!


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