Sunday, October 27, 2019

I just realized I didn't put a title here! Whoops. :D




Hidey-ho, horror nuts! Welcome to another WTFHM!


This week’s movie is…well…

So, sometimes you just want to take a break from the heavy stuff (just watched American History X, Jim and Andy and Midsommar in the span of a week…and I’m listening to Tara Westover’s Educated on audiobook. I’m a little over the serious right now.) If you’re anything like me, however, and you still love your horror movies (especially during Halloween week), do I have the movie for you.

This week’s movie…

(I’m going to try to stick with the notable characters for this list. There’s like a cast of thousands in this movie.)




Dude Bro Party Massacre III starring Alec Owen, Ben Gigli, Olivia Taylor Dudley, Erik Sandoval, Jon Worley, Jimmy Wong, Greg Sestero, Brian Firenzi, Candace Buttiker, Brian McElhany, Nick Kocher, Kelsey Gunn, Jon Salmon, Andrew W.K., Patton Oswalt, Nina Hartley, and Larry King.

Yes. You heard me.



Andrew W.K. and his T-Shirt



Patton Oswalt



Nina Hartley (No judgment if you already knew who she is)



And even Larry King... who reportedly is in this movie because he always wanted to be murdered in a horror movie. I mean, we all have goals right?




So, this movie opens with the disclaimer that it was banned in the 80s and the only reason we’re watching it is because some brave teenager recorded it during the one time it was shown on television.




The plot of this movie…well, let’s not focus on the plot. It’s not important. The whole thing reads out like Markiplier directed the cast of Smosh in a movie written by Ninja Sex Party. (For those of you who don’t get that joke, ask the nearest 15 to 20-year-old for an explanation).



This movie is a satire, but it’s also a slasher film so, since a plot synopsis is a wash let’s measure it by the Four Bs.



Blood: A+++
You can’t make a horror movie satire without buckets and buckets of blood. Really, that’s the whole dang point of making a horror movie satire in the first place. Bring in the rain slickers before you watch this. You will get soaked on this ride.



Boobs: A++
Also, you cannot make a horror movie satire without boobs. Lots of boobs. Though…to be honest…there could have been more. They kind of show all the boobs you’re going to see during the recap at the beginning of the movie.



(And before you say it, I did not break a rule here. There is no Dude Bro Party Massacre I and II…not that I wouldn’t have watched it.)




Body Count: A+++
I’m not actually sure what the body count is in this movie. A lot of people die in the “recap” in the beginning as well as just about everybody else. Suffice it to say, it’s a lot. If I had to estimate, maybe 15 to 20? I don’t know. I tried looking it up online and apparently no one cared enough to do an actual count. So, let’s say 20-ish…plus a robot.




Bad Acting: A++++
I mean, did you really expect Shakespeare in a movie with Andrew W.K., Britanick, and Nina Hartley in it? No explanation necessary here.





So, yeah, it’s 10s across the board for this movie! This movie is completely ridiculous. There is no way around it. It’s a farce with head-explody. The question is, does it get a jewel?

I mean…it should, right? Meh. I’ll give it a Youtube Diamond Play Button.

So, next week's movie!  Housebound...it's a comedy/horror!  I sense a streak coming on.
See you next week!

O~
  *

2 comments:

  1. 10/10 Best blog ever, very informative and cool 😎😎

    ReplyDelete
  2. THAAAAAAAAAAAANNNKKKK YOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    ReplyDelete