Hey, hey, party people! Welcome to another edition of WTFHM! We are finally at the last leg of our Frankenstein tour.
So, I have to say this before we get going with this next movie, I need to get this off my chest.
Bella Lugosi is in at least two of the movies that I’ve reviewed so far and when it came time for a big monster jamboree, he doesn’t end up playing the one role we all know him for. Dracula. Not to put down OG Carradine or anything. He does a fine job filling in, I just…well, I miss Bella in these movies.
Any-way, let’s move onward and upward. The final movie in the series:
The House of Dracula starring John Carradine, Lon Chaney Jr., Martha O’Driscoll, Lionel Atwill, Onslow Stevens, Jane Adams, Skelton Knaggs, and Glenn Strange as this version of the Frankenstein Monster.
Oh-kay. So, remember everything that happened in House of Frankenstein? Well, just forget all that happened. We start with Dracula(Carradine) showing up at the house of Dr. Edlemann(Stevens). Dr. Edlemann, you see, is a scientist working to find a cure to reshape bone. He has two assistants – the beautiful Milizia (O’Driscoll) and Nina(Adams), who’s a hunchback.
Yeah, I know, kind of beating a dead horse with the hunchback thing, but
So, Dracula shows up at the door and asks Edlemann to cure him of his vampirism. Dr. Edlemann’s all like; “Okay. Let’s do blood transfusions using my blood!” Dracula’s all like “Sounds like a plan.” Dracula moves his coffin in the basement and they get to work, but not before he starts doing the Dracula thing on Edlemann’s assistant. (Milizia, not Nina.) Which, in it of itself, is an interesting thing because you’d think that Dracula, who is looking for a cure for his vampirism, could keep his proverbial fangs in his mouth, right?
Oh-kay. So, remember everything that happened in House of Frankenstein? Well, just forget all that happened. We start with Dracula(Carradine) showing up at the house of Dr. Edlemann(Stevens). Dr. Edlemann, you see, is a scientist working to find a cure to reshape bone. He has two assistants – the beautiful Milizia (O’Driscoll) and Nina(Adams), who’s a hunchback.
Yeah, I know, kind of beating a dead horse with the hunchback thing, but
So, Dracula shows up at the door and asks Edlemann to cure him of his vampirism. Dr. Edlemann’s all like; “Okay. Let’s do blood transfusions using my blood!” Dracula’s all like “Sounds like a plan.” Dracula moves his coffin in the basement and they get to work, but not before he starts doing the Dracula thing on Edlemann’s assistant. (Milizia, not Nina.) Which, in it of itself, is an interesting thing because you’d think that Dracula, who is looking for a cure for his vampirism, could keep his proverbial fangs in his mouth, right?
Anyway, later that night Lawrence Talbot A.K.A. The Wolfman(Chaney Jr.) shows up at the castle wanting a cure too. Dr. Edlemann’s all like, “well, my schedule’s kind of full with this bone thing and I’m trying to cure a vampire, but I guess I can squeeze you in, too.”
Talbot’s like; “Bet, but can we get this done before the next full moon because I’m tired of killing people.”
Dr. Edlemann’s like: “When’s the next full moon?”
Talbot’s like: “Like any minute.”
Dr. Edlemann’s like: “I’m a doctor, not a magician! You’re gonna have to wait on it, buddy.”
Talbot decides to be proactive and gets the police to arrest him for the night. Meanwhile, the local villagers are watching what’s going on and decide that now is a good time to gather as an angry mob outside the police station. Inspector Holtz(Atwill) goes to get Edlemann and tells him he needs to come down to the station to come get his homey because he’s talking all kinds of smack about turning into a werewolf. Dr. Edlemann goes down to the station. Holtz tells him that he’s some kind of kook who thinks he’s a werewolf. But then the moon rises and:
Yeah, so Edlemann takes Talbot in and explains to him that he’s bumping him up to the top of his list, but he needs to grow more spores for his project plant (that regrows bones) and that was gonna take some time. Talbot’s, like, bump that noise and runs out of the castle and jumps off the nearest cliff.
Yeah. He jumps off a cliff into the ocean. For real.
But don’t worry, Talbot survives, of course. Dr. Edlemann finds him in the cave, but he also finds the Frankenstein monster still clutching the skeleton of Dr. Neimann. (I know what I said before, but it still stands. This is the only reference to House of Frankenstein).
All right, so Dr. Edlemann thinks that the monster will be good for research and he brings him back to the lab. He decides, however, that the monster is too dangerous to revive.
Meanwhile, Dracula is hardcore putting the moves on Milizia, which, by the way, check out this drag queen level of glamour.
Keep in mind, Milizia is just chilling at home. She’s not in a fancy restaurant or a club. She’s just sitting by the old piano and chilling at the crib. I’ve rarely looked this good in public.
Anyway, Dr. Edlemann comes in and blocks Dracula’s moves, telling him that his blood has weird antibodies in it and they were gonna have to do another transfusion. Dracula’s like whatever and goes about his evening.
Meanwhile Nina the Hunchback is keeping watch on Milizia and everything that’s happening in the castle and she puts it together that Dracula’s intentions might not be exactly pure. She tells Dr. Edlemann of his concerns and he decides that they need to stop Dracula from being Dracula and formulate a plan to kill him, but messing with the transfusion process.
Dracula gets hip to what’s happening and hypnotizes him and Nina until they call asleep. Then he reverses the transfusion so that the Doctor gets his blood. THEN, he finds Milizia and tries seducing her again. He succeeds just as the Edlemann and Nina are waking up. With Talbot in tow, they drive Dracula away with a cross. Dracula escapes to his underground coffin and Edlemann follows him, dragging the coffin into the sunlight and killing Dracula.
Don’t worry, though. He’ll be around for the next movie.
Okay, so Dracula’s blood is starting to turn Edlemann into a crazy person. Fortunately, he bounces back and forth like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. During his more lucid moments, he finally operates on Talbot and successfully turns him back into a non-werewolf like being. You know, a regular guy.
But then, shortly thereafter, that’s about the time that Edlemann comes into the village with that BS.
But don’t worry, Talbot survives, of course. Dr. Edlemann finds him in the cave, but he also finds the Frankenstein monster still clutching the skeleton of Dr. Neimann. (I know what I said before, but it still stands. This is the only reference to House of Frankenstein).
All right, so Dr. Edlemann thinks that the monster will be good for research and he brings him back to the lab. He decides, however, that the monster is too dangerous to revive.
Meanwhile, Dracula is hardcore putting the moves on Milizia, which, by the way, check out this drag queen level of glamour.
Keep in mind, Milizia is just chilling at home. She’s not in a fancy restaurant or a club. She’s just sitting by the old piano and chilling at the crib. I’ve rarely looked this good in public.
Anyway, Dr. Edlemann comes in and blocks Dracula’s moves, telling him that his blood has weird antibodies in it and they were gonna have to do another transfusion. Dracula’s like whatever and goes about his evening.
Meanwhile Nina the Hunchback is keeping watch on Milizia and everything that’s happening in the castle and she puts it together that Dracula’s intentions might not be exactly pure. She tells Dr. Edlemann of his concerns and he decides that they need to stop Dracula from being Dracula and formulate a plan to kill him, but messing with the transfusion process.
Dracula gets hip to what’s happening and hypnotizes him and Nina until they call asleep. Then he reverses the transfusion so that the Doctor gets his blood. THEN, he finds Milizia and tries seducing her again. He succeeds just as the Edlemann and Nina are waking up. With Talbot in tow, they drive Dracula away with a cross. Dracula escapes to his underground coffin and Edlemann follows him, dragging the coffin into the sunlight and killing Dracula.
Don’t worry, though. He’ll be around for the next movie.
Okay, so Dracula’s blood is starting to turn Edlemann into a crazy person. Fortunately, he bounces back and forth like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. During his more lucid moments, he finally operates on Talbot and successfully turns him back into a non-werewolf like being. You know, a regular guy.
But then, shortly thereafter, that’s about the time that Edlemann comes into the village with that BS.
He changes back to his evil self and kills the gardener. While on his rampage, he decides that he’s going to revive the Frankenstein monster. Nina catches him in the act and he immediately kills her and throws her in the cave below them.
Cue angry Mob! They show up at the castle with the police and attack The Frankenstein monster and Edlemann. In the chaos, Edlemann pushes Inspector Holtz into a big electrical…thing, electrocuting him. Talbot comes in and shoots Edlemann. A fire breaks out and kills the monster while all the townspeople escape the burning castle.
So, yeah, I can confidently say that this series is pretty much what happens when horror goes on a little too long. It starts getting weird.
BUT, OG Carradine and Lon Chaney Jr. Gotta give it a jewel for the culture.
Okay, so, next week we are finally on to the next movie that has absolutely nothing to do with Frankenstein…yet I’m not really looking forward to it. Friday the 13th…the remake…not the original…yay.
O~
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