Sunday, December 5, 2021

Monkey Fighting Vampires on This Monday to Friday Plane

Hey, hey, Horror Nuts!  Welcome to another edition of WTFHM!

I don't know if I ever reviewed Train to Busan here. If I didn't, that's a real shame because to date, it's the best zombie movie I've ever seen...and I've seen a lot of zombie movies.



Like...a lot. Like probably all of them.

But do you remember what you felt like watching that one? Do you remember how you felt at the end?  Heh. 


This week's movie! Blood Red Sky starring Peri Baumeister, Carl Anton Koch, Alexander Scheer, Kais Setti, Gordon Brown, Dominic Purcell, Graham McTavish, Kai Ivo Baulitz, Roland Moller, and Chidi Ajufo.

So, Storytime!


Once upon a time, Nadja (Baumeister) and her son, Elias (Koch), were flying to America so that Nadja can have a bone marrow transplant procedure.


But wait! Just as the plane is taking off, it gets hijacked by the villains in Die Hard...except way meaner.


Like this guy.  So, like, in every band of baddies, there's always one dude that the other bad guys go, "Wow, bring it down a notch."

And of COURSE, his name is 
Eightball.



So, Eightball (Scheer) and his merry band of terrorists, hijack the plane because...





Well, I don't really know why they hijack the plane? I think it's for a ransom, but none of that matters because they end up having an even bigger problem on their hands.




See, after Eightball shoots our protag, we very quickly find out that she's a straight-up vampire. And, at first, things follow the Die Hard playbook. She stays hidden, starts picking off the bad guys one by one, you know. Which doesn't last long because the more Nadja feeds, the more...vampirey she gets.




Now, if you've been following me for some time, then you know, I love me a good vampire movie. But what you may not know is that while there's a special place in my heart for the Anne Rice Bella Lugosi romantic vampires, I'm almost always about the Nosferatu-all-monster-no-preservatives vampire movies.

And that is what this is.  Nadja becomes a killing machine on a plane and makes all sorts of problems for the terrorists...



Except Eightball. It surprises no one that he's totally into becoming a Nosferatu vampire at the first opportunity...which creates a whole new set of problems for the hostages.



So, they end up with a hold full of vampires by the end of the movie and because of the high level of asshole among the passengers, the vampires end up running loose on the plane killing everyone in sight.

And what do we do with a planeful of blood-thirsty Nosferatu vampires?





Yes, of COURSE you blow it up. Though, it took them a minute to do that because the only survivors at that point are Elias and Farid (Setti) one of three Arab dudes that happened to befriend Elias and Nadja earlier in the movie (and also, one of the guys that the bad guys were setting up to take the fall for the hijacking.)


Not that they had to do that because in horror movies (and in real life sometimes) no one ever believes children and minorities, so I have no doubt this would have ended pretty much the same way anyway.

This movie was a bloodfest with a pretty layered plotline that they managed to make work without overcomplicating things.  And, while I'm not ready to say this was the best vampire movie I've ever seen (an honor I've only ever given to Train to Busan in the Zombie category of my brain) this movie was the bomb. Big ole red jewel.




Like I said, love me romantic style vampires, but I love it when a filmmaker just lets the monsters be monsters. 



So, next week's movie!  Let's watch Hypnotic because the cover looks cool!  See you next week!

O~
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